The Wedding Story

A fine pair

The most touching and truly positive experience throughout the entire announcements, was the trip to see my grandfather. We hired a car and brought home-made sandwiches for the three-hour journey. My husband-to-be demonstrated boundless patience and good humor, trying to communicate with a ninety-two year old he’d never met. This is not an easy thing to do, especially if you don’t speak Schwitzerduetsch. But Grandfather was charming. He greeted us warmly, declaring his happiness in having acquired a new grandson. Then he took us to lunch.

The afternoon went quickly but we had to leave before dark, as it might snow on the way home. We stood up from Grandfather’s sofa and gathered out coats. “You two make a fine pair,” Grandfather said, pleased. He squeezed a small package into my hand. “They’re pearls,” he said. “To wear on your wedding day.”

His first wedding

Suddenly it was the middle of January and there were only four weeks left till the wedding day. The huge responsibility of the preparations was left to me, alone. Due to his inability to speak the language and ignorance regarding the logistics of such an event, my husband-to-be was exonerated from the entire preparations. Besides, he’d never even attended a wedding, so could not be counted on offering any useful advice or insight. He was put on kitchen duty and briefed to exert unshakeable patience and tolerance, come what may, during the following weeks.

Wedding preparations are a great filter to sort your true friends from the people who don’t really care about you. At such an emotional time, when you rely on the good-will of others, the difficult, self-centered people who put their needs before yours, rise to the surface like rotten eggs.

My high school friend M. was an example. As soon as I sent out the hand-written invitations, she confirmed her presence at the reception. But a week later, following a bad break-up with the cheating boyfriend, she changed her mind and cancelled. I understood. A few days later, she called again: would it be all right if she brought the unfaithful one? “This is not a birthday party, M., it’s my wedding. Intimate friends only!” I awaited her final decision before finalizing the seating arrangements, which had changed as often as she’d changed her mind. Still, she couldn’t give me a definite answer. “Think about it and call me in two days,” I said. In the end she withdrew, having decided Valentine’s Day was better spent at dinner with the cheating ex.

Fortunately, some of the planning proved rewarding. First of all, since none of our family and Australian friends were going to attend, we wanted a simple, inexpensive wedding. And, as it was going to be a civil ceremony, we decided to stick to the basics. Simple but tasteful was our motto. Besides, we had no money.