The Wedding Story

Life’s little imperfections

Our four-day honeymoon in Venice was trimmed down to just two full days, thanks to the unreliability of the Italian railway system and pick-pockets. What was supposed to be a leisurely four-hour train journey that would give us time to unwind after the tumultuous events, which had recently shaped our lives, turned into an odyssey that left me shedding bitter tears. When we finally arrived following a long, frustrating day, it was dusk in Venice. We were supposed to have arrived at noon. I was angry and exhausted. But my husband didn’t care and wouldn’t conceal his excitement at first sight of the Serenissima.

We’d booked a junior suite in the most romantic hotel in Venice, a Palazzo. A peace offering from my in-laws. Upon arrival, the concierge informed us we’d been upgraded — a honeymoon bonus. He then escorted us to the suite. In true Venetian fashion, it was decorated with silk wallpaper, velvet settees and a four-poster bed. Best of all, there was a balcony with a view of the lagoon. We were still admiring the blown-glass chandelier, when the maid knocked. She deposited a bottle of Bollinger on ice, and two crystal flutes on the low Rococo table. There was a note from our witnesses who’d organized this last, lovely surprise.

The first night during our honeymoon, I awoke from a dream in which my husband had taken off his wedding ring. He’d put it on the bedside table because, he said, he couldn’t sleep with it. The following morning, I awoke early because the wedding band on my finger was itchy. I felt constricted, like a migratory pigeon that had been tagged. In my sleep, the ring felt twice as thick and hurt my fingers, the discomfort causing me to awaken. I sat up in bed watching my husband asleep next to me and wondered if it would be all right to take the ring off...

Venice was lovely as always. The carnival was in full swing so the area of San Marco was overcrowded and the prices reached the sky. We strolled through the less popular calles of Canareggio and frequented the student cafés around the Accademia. I began to relax... away from the office, away from everything. One afternoon, while taking photos on the Rialto, my purse got stolen. There wasn’t much in it, but we wasted an afternoon calling Australia to cancel the Visa card and file a report at the local police station.

In hindsight everyone has 20:20 vision

A month later, gradually, I began to recover from the happiest day of my life. The task of organizing the wedding in just four weeks, without the help and support of the family and with hardly any money, was grueling. Followed by the train strikes and the theft on our honeymoon. Meanwhile at work, my responsibilities had quadrupled after a promotion in January to Senior Editor. All this left me too exhausted to enjoy my new status. I’d work overtime at the office, without breaks, then drag myself home and collapse after dinner.

In the beginning, married life seemed like one big effort. For a while, I was the sole breadwinner but also took care of the household’s administrative and financial matters. As my husband’s linguistical skills were still rudimentary, I’d assist him in his job search, offering advice and helping him type a C.V. Eventually he found a position on his own merit. Since then, things have slowly started to fall into place. His cooking has improved too, now he even has his own special recipes.

Sometimes happiness is waiting for you at the end of a long and rocky road. It takes courage and perseverance, but if you weather the tough times, you can get there in the end. I’ve learned that, in spite of all my efforts, life isn’t meant to be perfect. Coming to terms with this, has been my biggest challenge.

Now, I look forward to a simpler life. I’m tired of the constant struggle. I want to lay down my fighting stick once and for all and grow comfortably into my new life and my new self. If like me, you’ve always been self-sufficient, if you are headstrong and independent, you may find that surrendering your power is the scariest thing you’ve ever done. It takes time and dedication to open yourself up to the experience of being two. But each morning brings with it the renewed realization that nothing beats waking up to a new day, with that Special Someone at your side. The person whom I have chosen and who, in return, has chosen me — out of the millions and millions of people in this world.

At the very start of our relationship, when we’d just met, I wrote a note to my husband. It said:

“In my wanderings, I followed my heart and the road led to you.”