The Cruise

The highlight of the curies to Nea Kameni, the volcano, was diving off the side of the wooden sailing boat and into the inky-blue waters of the Aegean. The sea is crystal clear here and you can see the emerald green rocks on the bottom. I swam ashore to the springs, where warm bubbles rise between the rocks and taint the water the colour of tea.

Thirassia was disappointing. A ghost town set above a lurid pebbled cay with a few ramshackle taverns along the shore, all over-priced and serving the same skewered fish or stringy chicken. The scent of tomcats mixed with donkey excrement permeates the entire island.

Back on the boat: trannies hogging the toilet doing dress rehearsals and sporting matching fake Luis Vuitton headwear; smoking Italians throwing their cigarette butts overboard.